For the first time in my life i prayed for some one's death. and that some one was my aunt! my real aunt who stitched many many dresses for me... who taught me how to make mooli ka achaar, a lady form whom i learned how to be respectful to the elders and still maintain the self respect... Rehana Khala.
i have many memories of her.. when Nani's house was not constructed she was the one who use to help me take bath, she told me that if you are feeling cold and are scared of cold water, you dont have to pour on to you from the top start bit by bit... still follow this when i feel cold taking a bath, i am sure she might have forgotten this,
i still remember how she prepared for her own marriage despite every one asking to sit and rest..
i remember how she use to forgive nazma khala the younger aunt who was very mischevious and still is, for all of her mischief!
i still remember she telling me to wear you old dress and save the new ones for occasions otherwise you end up with all of your dresses used and old.
i still remember she being silently working all the time and being perticuler about cleanliness, not the apparent cleansing but clean from inside.
in my child hood i used to spend months at nani's place and there she was the one who every time took the role of my mother, making me sleep comfortably, giving me food, what dress to wear when, helped me in bathing etc.. i was very young but still few of memories are so vividly clear.
then she got married to a financially weak but very hard working, honest and a generous man. both of them loved each other a lot. they are the best couple i would say among all my relatives. they were always in support of each other. both of them happily reared their family of four daughters and two sons. it was a economically poor yet very happy family.
i still remember the day when both of them came to me and my sister for some help and we did that as our duty. the happiness and warmth they shared is still fresh.
this January i got to know that she has to undergo some operation for removal of stone in her stomach, she was in pain on and off since a long time and it was diagnosed as stone. she was operated but took a loooong time to recover and get discaharged from the hospital, infact though she was discharged but never recovered. during operation it was found that she has a cancer and that too on a later stage... cancer started spreading like it spreads... faast... and she started loosing her health. last week when i met her she was soooo weeek that was even unable to open her eyes what to say of speak or body movement, she was reduced to skeleton... ufff i could not even look at her. Allah please never put someone in soo much pain. her teeth were the only clearly visible thikng on her face no flesh no muscles and no blood.. she was lying on bed with a huuuge stomach and bones.
i looked at her daughters they looked so helpless... all the time looking at her in case she trying to say something... ufff it was very painful... she was in pain... and those who looked at her were scared to see the pain on her face..
And for the first time in my life i raised my hand and sincerely prayed for death!!!
Allah please never put any one in such pain. either life or death .. no in between!! YOU are the one who is in control of everything!!!
