Always smile!!

Yesterday Ajay Mahajan without any kind reference asked me if I am always able to be happy and to be smiling as he has seen me. I remember he asked me this same question last year when we were on a trecking trip to chopta. For sure the question has validity as few others have also asked the same. I smile to keep an emotional and mental balance. But it was not reason y i am happy but it was more of how i am abale to. Actually I do not know. May be it comes naturally to me. Though I remeber few times forcing myself to be happy when I was in really bad or I knew that my bad or tensed mood would worsen the situation which is already worst.
Any way I do not know if it has anything to do with what I saw on that party last week. All forcing a curve on thier faces. With horribly painted face and jwellery loaded all over, and making sure that it is visible when cameras are around. People were talking to each other without listening to them. I felt as if everyting is fake. Happiness can only be natural. We have it or not, we can not, not have and still show.! What is the problem in sharing if we r not happy, is it desire of being aceptable or it is the desire to be happy (attitude of "IF-I-AM-NOT-HAPPY-AT-LEAST-I-CAN-SHOW), what would happen if I share my problem if I cry in front of someone I know not much. What would happen if I keep my problems open. May be the feeling that the person him/her self is so sure deep in heart that its they who are responsible that's y they do not share it.... its absolutely fine to have problems but retaining them irritates me!!

I feel all this when I have others in my mind but at the same time I have few issues with myself that I keep it to it but in my case I know that I myself is responsible, and that soon they would be solved. So no point disturbing my sisters and parents and friends!! Few say that its ghariyat... I do not think so! And I love you all and I dont want to see you tensed listening to me!!